#my Milo darlin brain is just

[indigo-greer-collins]

darlin and angel!! i love this listener ship, this is my favourite!!

haha isn’t it super funny that david’s basically dating a human version of ash?

oh darlin and milo are kinda similar actually, now that i think about it

ooh i’ve kinda been loving the milo/asher ship lately!

wait

wait

[aragaki]

Darlin' x Milo.

I know I'm all alone in my little boat here but Darlin x Milo has me in a chokehold and I need to get it out!!

For one, Milo would absolutely call Darlin' Tank instead.

Thinking about Milo and Tank, they've been around each other since they were teenagers. Maybe there was some feelings, some fights. Two stubborn, strong-willed wolves with Asher always going on and on about their will-they-won't-they dynamic, much to Milo's chagrin.

Then they vanish off with some fancy-talking vamp and Milo's left with a yearning he refuses to admit to. He's got other things on his mind. He pretends that Tank's absence from pack meetings doesn't bother him but knowing they're gone, and in a worse place, weighs on him.

Then he finds them, battered and bloody, crumpled outside on his way home. They're hurt. They're half-delirious from blood loss and couldn't help themselves from going somewhere familiar - to someone familiar.

Milo patching them up as best he can, trying to get information out of them but they fight him tooth and nail at every turn. Just like the old days. All he knows is there's someone they're out for, someone they want to kill, and Milo can't tell anyone they're back in Dahlia. And just like Milo says to Sweetheart, as long as it doesn't affect the pack, he can do what he wants.

But it does and he doesn't know it.

Milo's place becoming Tank's safehouse, Milo trying to help Tank as much as he can but they're so tight-lipped about who they're hunting. But the two of them are getting closer. And Milo learns just how out of place Tank felt in the pack, with them, never feeling like they were really accepted.

David confronting Milo, absolutely pissed that two members of his pack are going behind his back. Milo and David, who are at this point more distant after the death of Gabe, and Milo having something to prove to David but has disappointed him.

Milo telling David that Tank doesn't think of themselves as a member of the Shaw pack, and hasn't in a long time, even before they left. Milo having to tell David that he didn't ask who it was Tank was hunting, scared that if he pushed or if he told David and they found out, they'd probably run and they'd never get them back and he doesn't want to lose them again.

Tank confronting Milo at the pack meeting, convinced he was the one who told, furious, hurt, and betrayed again, so tried of being betrayed, but Milo defending himself. Making it clear that he didn't tell David and Tank didn't tell him about Quinn either.

Tank's body being covered in scars from fights and Quinn. Being ashamed and disgusted as Milo, who spills compliments like a fountain, kisses each one of them. Milo's body-worshipping habits coming out at every unhappy frown Tank makes when they see themselves.

Milo buying Tank good looking clothes, fully at his wit's end with their unironed white tank top and jeans. Tank liking the clothes but never wearing them cause they seem so expensive, they should be for a special occasion. Milo's insistence that mulberry silk or not a shirt is a shirt so please fucking wEAR IT.

Asher's vindication when Milo and Tank finally make the leap into being mates. He's been on this train since they were teens, he's been suffering from an IRL slow-burn romance for half of his life!! Will not shut up about the fact that the "pack scrappers" finally got together.

"Bite me, Milo. 😒" "Not in public, sweets."

[arrowfleur]

Thoughts thoughts thoughts

Sam ‘Drive-by kink shaming’ Asher is so funny 😭

Also Sam🤝Asher *laughing at their own jokes*

Those two were literally flirting the whole time likeeeee

“Who you calling an underdog pup? ”

I knowwww Babe was giving him side eye

That’s their nick name (for Ash) and their nick name only

Also Sam said ‘My Darlin’ and that’s soooo cute

Sweetheart scaring Milo no matter time or place,, I know that man is living in a state of fear

BAAAAABE winning fuck yeah

David trying to teach Angel how to play,,, and not succeeding, BUT! He’s so soft with them ahhhhh

Sam thinking the remote was dead and saying “that little turnip” he’s such a DILF. (Fred and Bright are his children you didn’t hear this from me)

Also David helping him turn it on and CONSTANTLY reiterating how well he fits in

I loved those two During the inversion and I’m so glad we got to see that duo again with happier circumstances

Darlin killing Sam off without hesitation pffffffffffftt

‘MILE LOW’ is definitely my favourite name

I feel like none of them asked what ‘make it two’ meant because Asher is a gossip girl and probably told them all in a group chat

Angel immediately picking Sam 💀

Samuel Collins you are, the weakest link

“Oh so I’m a flop now”

Milo thinking Sam was actually offended and stuttering STUTTERING

“You gon get a pink tracksuit like that Milo?”

“I should i’d look fucking great in it”

YES YOU WOULD, YES YOU WOULDDDD.

Milo refusing to get the smash ball

He’s SO SMUG

In a good way

“Cmon buddy what map do you want?”

All: “FINAL DESTINATION”

Why does Milo react to sweetheart getting hit like it’s an actual fight 😭 he’s so funny

Oop and they’re making out again

It’s basically a 40 minute video of Milo and Sweetheart being horny

And then Ash being horny

Sam being confused as fuck

And David being DONE

Why do I get the feeling that Sam looks away ‘out of respect’ when Angel and David are kissing

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT HIM BEING SO HAPPY THAT HE ACTUALLY GOT DAVID OUT OF THE FIRST GAME

he’s such a fan girl

Just the entirety of thee ‘nut-sack brain’ discussion

Once again Milo saying ‘owww’ like it actually hurt him?!?!

Personally Sweetheart is my winner 😌

‘You just inspecting their tonsils?’

PLEASE MY MAN IS A COMEDIAN 🙏

and finally Ash singing and David telling him to stop

And then Ash kissing David and him saying ‘get off me’

Is such a mirror to that first Halloween episode

The more things change the more they stay the same I suppose

[capitalisticveins]

I hate not knowing when the next vid is coming out im getting anxious 😭

[tankshaw]

read a fic where darlin ran after sam told them that david knew and milo went to go fetch them and i have had brainrot for that concept ever since

[aimedis]

this is my skibibi toilet

david is so Grrrr Ruff Ruff but asher is like arf and then milo is all yip yip yip

then there’s tank who’s just

BOOF!!!!

[hologramofafunctionalhuman]

Redacted Hcs

Guy is really just Erik's rat brain interacting with his husband. i know bc i do the same to my spouse. Lots of tangents, just slower.

Milo is not short so much as everyone around him is so tall. Asher (probably) is only an inch taller than him and never lets him forget it.

Milo looks exactly like Mickey Milkovich from Shameless to me. Milo is nicer though.

D(a)emons who interact with unempowered humans often (Gavin) have demon-ish features that show up in their aura rather than the physical. So horns, tails, wings, etc are only visible to magical beings and d(a)emons don't break covert. D(a)emons in Elegy who don't interact much with unempowered people (Caelum, Vega) have those features in the physical. Or maybe it's a type of glamour they put on themselves before being public-facing. Yeah. That sounds better.

Huxley hates wearing clothing and goes around barefoot or in flip flops as much as possible. As soon as he gets home the shirt comes off.

Darlin' is basically Vi from Arcane but transmasc.

I'm not sure if Hux is a stoner but Guy DEFINITELY is.

[desmorotu]

more redacted headcanons!!!

some might be angsty? most of them?

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

- i saw a hc where milo isn’t necessarily short, but the other guys are just unbelievably tall. in my head milo is 5’11, ash is 6’5, and david is 6’9. tank is the only one who looks deceiving bc they’re like 5’10 in my head but their wolf is as big as david’s. ppl from the outside make the joke that shaw security is secretly a tall person club

- guy was a music major before he switched to writing. i mentioned it in his playlist post but i get those vibes HARD. he also writes honey poetry because he knows they secretly like it

- i like the idea that darlin and angel came from a rough family upbringing because 1. it’s relatable to a lot of ppl and 2. it would explain why tank shoves themselves into harms way and why angel is so outgoing now. it shows different responses to trauma imo.

- babe sometimes has crippling panic attacks on the thought of angel being a latent empowered and leaving them alone as the unempowered person of the group, but in my mind babe is the latent one and they’re a fire elemental.

- sweetheart feels guilty sometimes for being empowered while the other mates aren’t. they know it has absolutely nothing to do with them and that they can’t do anything about it, but sometimes they feel a pang in their heart at the fact that the other two won’t feel their core swell and warm up when looking at their mates.

- starlight has night terrors about the time they fell down—both times. they also think about when avior fell and they can’t help but intrusively picture what he looked like when he finally landed. it makes them physically ill. avior has to be extra careful when talking back about their experiences sometimes.

- lovely is still goes to therapy every week to work through the trauma of adam, dying, and now they’ve added the summit on top of that. they’re withering away into a husk of themselves. they’re so exhausted with dealing with all of this pressure, but they’d do anything for vincent (and i think that’s going to be their downfall).

- gavin has been brought to tears on multiple occasions at the thought that freelancer loves him for him and not just because he’s an incubus. he’s had to muffle his sobs because he genuinely does not know how he deserved someone so loving. he hasn’t brought it up to them yet.

- i think that freelancer is on the ace spectrum (greysexual maybe?) and that gavin was the only person they’ve ever really had sex with, or wanted to have sex with. they trusted him enough to “show them the ropes” and he built their confidence to where it is now. gavin helped build their relationship with sex and while they’re still on the spectrum, they’re more positive about it and they enjoy that kind of intimacy with him.

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

that’s all that i can squeeze out of my brain rn >:( i haven’t been on tumblr that much and UGH it’s just bc my real life is more interesting than my redacted life (which is a very good thing, but still it makes me sad) and i have no motivation to post 💔 but here are some hcs that have been on my mind lately :3 i hope they make sense

k byeee 💟

[no-see-um-incorrect]

The Shaw Pack at pride 

(Keep in mind. These are my personal headcannons)

David: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. David is not just the alpha. He is the dad. He has water bottles, snacks, and a buddy system chart, he also runs the carpool. Nothing too flashy when it comes to his appearance. He’s got a little Bi pin on his hoodie and a trans flag bracelet that Angel made him (Angel was rocking a non-binary&MLM Flag makeup look)

Asher: Asher brought a pocket stereo and pride flags for everyone who wanted one. He would’ve gone in full drag, but David and Baaabe talked him down to a mini skirt, crop top, and heels (the reasoning being it was too hot for full drag) but he looked fine af and that’s all he cared about, he was wearing his Pan flag classic cape style, and his nails were painted classic rainbow, with his mate, right by his side, wearing some god-awful Target Pride merch because they thought it was funny 

Milo: Milo and his mate decided to go in formal wear. Nobody knows why Nobody knows how they are not dying in the heat. But they look great. Milo is debating with Sweetheart on whether it’s tacky to put a trans flag in their living room (it's not) And also complaining about how he can never find a T4T flag anywhere. They ended up purchasing way more things than they probably needed to but They had a very enjoyable time

Sam: this poor man is nervous as all hell. He won’t admit it. But he is. This is his first pride event and he doesn’t quite know how to handle himself, but he’s happy to be there with his Darlin, and the pack. Asher painted a little BI flag on his cheek and Darlin has DemiBoy flag painted nails. When it got later into the night and Sam got more comfortable. They found themselves enjoying the art and the beautiful creations that people brought. Having a mini slow dance when Take Me to church started playing And taking photos of the lights.

Overall, a great time at pride for the shaw pack

Happy pride everyone, I hope you had an amazing and safe month!

(forgive me if there’s any typos, my brain is running on empty)

[anexistingexistence]

I feel like Darlin' is a very animalistic person. And I don't just mean this as "they're very in touch with their wolf" - which they are, don't get me wrong - but they also fully have a wild animal brain in their skull. Like when they go running while shifted, they don't shift like how the Shaw Security wolves were taught, instead, they choose to rip their clothes or just straight up take them off before shifting. In addition to this, they also wear very few to no clothes around the house because they find them restrictive like how a dog or cat might yell at you for putting them in a sweater. Darlin's eating habits are also what a lot of people would call atrocious because they always eat like they're starving and sometimes they almost ignore the cutlery next to their plate. They also prefer cooking and buying their food themselves rather than having someone else do those things for them because they like feeling more connected to their food - that and their hasty as well as (literal) hands-on approach to eating comes from the same feeling a wolf might have after killing its prey and serving it to its pack.

All that is to say that Darlin' also always touches people. They don't like being touched for personal reasons, but they always have to touch the people who are dear to them; They have their hand on Sam's thigh or knees, a hand on Asher's shoulder, they lean against David's side, they lean on Milo's head, they hold Angel's hand, they sit back to back with Baabe, and their knee and leg are always touching Sweetheart's when they sit next to each other. And with Sam, it's not exactly limited to just keeping a relatively tight grip on his thigh, but they've come to know that kissing and licking and nosing at their mate's neck, face, and ears isn't something that is appropriate to do in public or in front of pack. But sometimes they still lean against him and take a deep breath with their head on his shoulder and on his neck they smell their own scent and that dumb, ravenous, prideful, and possessive animal brain goes mine and mate and smells like me all mine he's marked because he's mine mine mine and nobody will touch him my mate I want to touch I want to feel and he smells like me and I want more I want him to need a shower by the time I'm done with him my mate my darling mine mine mine

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Couples as Things My Partner & I Do

✩ Whenever Sweetheart’s head is on Milo’s chest and he wants to show them something he flexes his pecs until they lift their head up to look

✩ When Aaron is stressed, Smartass plays with his hair to turn his brain off - he whines if they stop but he’ll never admit it

✩ Angel smacks David’s ass any time he even slightly bends over

✩ When Lasko is in an overthinking spiral Coworker gently holds the sides of his face and takes deep breaths with him until he’s calmed down enough to talk about it

✩ Darlin’ bites Sam’s finger if it gets too close to their mouth and then just holds it in their teeth as long as possible without biting too hard

✩ Any time Damien is standing at the counter while making food, Huxley comes behind him and almost completely envelopes him - chest pressed against his back, arms wrapped around his waist, and head nuzzled against his neck

✩ Avior is a tummy kisser, Starlight is a hand kisser

✩ Instead of just telling Ollie when they don’t understand the game/show/movie he’s talking about, Coworker just blankly stares and frog blinks until he stops and re-explains the confusing part

✩ Asher and Baabe hold hands whenever they walk almost anywhere together, including just moving from room to room in their apartment

✩ Guy showing Honey his music playlists and taking them to concerts, even if they don’t know or particularly like the band, is one of his favorite ways to connect with them and show them his love

✩ On special occasions, Anton makes little snacks for My Love to take to work with them, even though he’s not super confident in his food-making abilities

✩ Freelancer has had to convince Gavin to put temperature-appropriate clothing on more times than they can count - he would go shirtless all the time if he could

✩ When Lovely gets flustered by Vincent’s flirting and looks away, he gently holds their chin and makes them look at him

[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[thedaughterofadam]

My S.O. headcanons for the #redactedaudio universe. Because I can and why not. {#NSFW under the cut, Minors Do Not Interact.}

Angel:

- Has thrown a cane {Because of course they broke their leg doing something illegal}, at a police car.

- Baaabe and Angel have been best friends since middle school. As soon as Baaabe knew who Angel was it was immediately our girlfriend to David.

- Has said Davey Wavey with puppy dog eyes to get David to grab things from the top shelf for them. {Immediately was told to never call him that while he was laughing}, Now climbs to the top shelf and mock growls at David when he pulls them off.

---------------------------------------------------++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

- Has been a horrible person to play with one on one with Mario Kart. {David definitely has focused enough to pause the game and immediately fuck their brains out}, but horrible none the less.

- Has made David wear a Devil costume for Halloween because they dress as their pet name an Angel which makes David both horny and laugh.

Baaabe

- Has been in an abusive relationship so makes sure to praise Asher and make him feel like a priority as Asher does for them.

- Wears Asher's gym Shorts while running. {They're a runner and a track star, don't ask why, I just think Gym Babe}

- Is taller than Angel so definitely has thrown David's mate over their shoulder more than once when they did some mischievous activities.

- Baaabe doesn't do puppy dog eyes, they do a cat smile when they want something. Why? {Because they always have a devious plan, Angel's best friend for a reason}

- They prefer warm sweets to cold, I don't make the rules, but they like warm things.

Sweetheart

{They're my favorite, so if you thought I forgot you're wrong.}

- Met both Baaabe and Angel in college, has not been able to escape them since.

- Disappears on top of the fridge so they can scare Asher, has succeeded and got stuck in top of the fridge.

- Has been a dancer their whole life, so them being bendy definitely doesn't make Milo horny, and their practices aren't always timed so perfectly that Milo sees them when he gets home from work. {Wink, Wonk}

- Jumps onto furniture like a cat when they get scared, hissing at the thing that scared them has happened more than once.

- Loves when Milo gets out of the shower, helping him get ready for bed. Because they like that he lets them around when he's vulnerable.

Darlin'

{Also one of my favorites top Three along with Sweetheart}

-Military Dad, divorced parents, friends with the boys for years. Always cries on Gabe's death anniversary because that's the only good Father figure they had.

- Left for college at an Arts school met Quinn when their Dad had basically disowned them for not wanting to stay in Dahlia with him. Hence the Daddy Issues.

- Has called Sam Daddy once by complete accident, it was one of those joking things and immediately got Sam turned on, they both learned things that night.

- Likes to paint on the porch, watching the sun set and rise to relax. Sam has had to pick them up and bring them to bed because they fell asleep painting in the sun.

- Likes when Sam showers with them. They like washing his hair and making sure he relaxes makes them feel at ease.

Freelancer

- Has hidden themselves behind the large stacks of chips at Costco as a child.

- Prefers the blue candy to the red candy at stores.

- Has made Gavin carry them after sex because they like being close to him, and they get princess treatment.

- Dances around the apartment while Gavin cooks, because they like making him laugh as they try to do the Tiktok dances.

- Likes when Gavin's hands are ein their hair, it brings them comfort

Lasko's S.O.

{Let me know if they have a name}

- Prefers tea to Coffee

-Likes cold sweets, definitely eats an ice cream cone during a snow storm.

- Likes to be under all the blankets while sleeping because Lasko is cold and they want all the cuddles.

- Has made Lasko read to them just to distract him with kisses and soft touches.

- Likes seeing Lasko in charge so they watch him do paperwork so they can stare at his RBF without being noticed.

[cyanbugremix]

Hello! In progress of me finding an art style I like, I made fanart of a scene in "Between You, Me and the Fence Post" fanfic (from Chapter 12) written by @taelonsamada !

It's the scene when Milo sits out in one of the pastures as he tries to get Chuck (a Clydesdale horse that he got from an auction) to trust him. And idk. I just really like that scene and my brain gave me a very vivid image to draw it :) (I know that it says that they put a softer halter on Chuck, but, I wanted to show off the scars a bit better on his face)

[Image Description: Fanart of a Shaw Pack Ranch AU fanfic called "Between You, Me and the Fence Post" by TaelonSamada on Ao3. It's lightly snowing in the picture. Milo is sitting on a stool in a snowy pasture, with a Clydesdale horse named Chuck. Milo has light tan skin, and short curly hair, along with some beard stubble above his lip and along his jaw. Milo wears a tan cowboy hat, a short, dark brown jacket, and muddy blue jeans. His jeans have lighter denim patches at the knees. Milo holds a green book in his hand as he pretends to ignore Chuck. Chuck is standing behind Milo and is letting Milo touch his nose. Chuck the Clydesdale horse is with a mahogany or chestnut color for most of it's fur. Chuck has a few scars located where horse halters usually sit and where a horse's breastplate would sit. He also has a scar further back near his left thigh. The background is of snowy mountains, hills, and pine trees. The sky is grey and cloudy, and the mountains and hills get fuzzier the farther back they are. The tone of the picture is very quiet and chill. /End ID]

Also have one of the country songs that I listened to while making this and think it fits kinda well with David and Darlin'/Tank's characters in the fic.

[indigo-greer-collins]

do i have to do like a campaign for the things i nominated myself for and have competition in uh /hj/lh

idk how to do these things i’m not a politician guys

reasons i think my hcs r cool

- i overanalyse/overthink about everything the characters do ever

- most of my headcanons make people want to attack me violently /lh/pos

- i have so many squares covered in oppression bingo you can consider voting for me activism (THIS IS A JOKE IM KIDDING IM KIDDING)

- everything reminds me of redacted characters (the hyperfixation lifestyle) and so i get inspired like super easy

- i’ll give u all flowers if u vote me

reasons i should be ‘the’ david fan

- angel and i are like the same person /hj

- falling more in love with him was a very important part of my character arc

- they’re the posts on this blog that have gotten the most attention somehow 💀💀

- i have gotten into way too many playful arguments about his character, i am somehow the best debater ever when it comes to him

reasons i should be ‘the’ sam fan

- SAMUEL COLLINSHFKFHSJDDHD

- i have literally found my sam (she’s even southern too @savannahohh)

- him (and avior actually) are the reason i ended up so deep into the fandom

- he is one of the only two redacted bois that has helped my insomniac ass pass out (the other is gavin!)

- ilovehimilovehimilovehimilovehimilovehimilovehim

- i am. scarily. similar to darlin. i just didn’t get the sexy part (i even have a thing for like doctors???)

- he’s also one of the only 2 characters who has made me giggle aloud (the other is milo, but you knew that /j)

- let me stop before i melt my brain thinking about a fictional dead man.

@deezbignutz (here u go)

[definitelynuwonhere]

“His Hazel Gaze”

I had Literature homework, asking me to create a haiku, and since my brain is literally just redacted I based it off the cowboy, cuz ofc I did. Now im capitalizing off of it by expanding the idea cuz I’m wired and have freewill

This won’t be in a traditional writing format cuz I’m lazy and literally just following the words that flow in fear of losing track.

———

PICTURE IT: Sophomore year, a new student is introduced, Samuel Collins, immediately catching, you guessed it, Tank’s attention. Well, honestly Asher, who then pointed him out to them. But of course they respond with a punch to his arm.

Sam was a good student, turned work in time, participated in class, but mostly kept to himself. Except for the times he’d gotten dragged by Asher to join them at their group table.

That’s when Tank really began to interact with him. It’s how they found out he liked vanilla ice cream, or how he owned every color of the same type of flannel, and that his eyes were brown, hazel brown.

They never really paid attention to those types of things, hell they barely knew their friend’s favorite colors, cept for Asher’s, because of his constant fights with Milo over blue gatorade and him saying it was “his brand”.

They never really cared, all until him. Suddenly they were keeping mental notes of the things he liked and didn’t liked, how he preferred podcasts over music, and horror to action movies. They knew it all. But probably their most favorite, is how his golden gaze sparkled in the sun.

It was into the first week of meeting him when they saw them, sun kissed by the star’s rays. Ash had asked (begged) him to join them up their usual spot near the cliff, using David’s dad’s pickup truck, the group had settled into a spot amidst the trees, popping open a few soda cans and snacks as they watched the busy city below them.

The sun was near setting, casting down its rays perfectly on their spot on the cliff. Sam had been laughing, at least it looked like it, with Asher, probably with his shitty jokes. His dark brown locks looked almost golden in the sun, and his eyes, having locked briefly with theirs, and him sending a smile their way. Left them almost still in place.

They shook themselves back to reality, sending a hasty half-smile in return, gulping down the rest of their cherry Dr. Pepper. He had a girlfriend, Alexis they think her name was. It was long distance, but even still. Plus, what would a charming southern boy want with them?

They got home that night, head clouded with all these conflicting thoughts and ‘ugh’ feelings, (their words, not mine) safe to say their were close to get pissed, and what better way to let out those feeling than through poetry (My darlin’s a literary student ok)

A haiku was their chosen format this time, the words seem to flow almost instantly as they sat there.

“Oh those hazel eyes

Shine caramel-like in hue

Look at what you do”

ALRIGHT IM DONE, I JUST HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM—

I FIND CRAZY HOW LITTH OBSESSION I HAVE ON HIM, AND YET HE’S THE ONE I WRITE ABOUT THE MOST